Building Inner Resilience to achieve High Performance & Work/Life Fulfilment

A woman approached me during last winter, she was facing an excess of challenges in the different roles she was playing in her life and wished to consolidate her leadership position. Post the first consultation,I could sense the leadership potential this women was holding within her which needed an impetus by her own self to be unleashed.

So she started taking challenging leadership roles that included longer commitments and  Travel.  While satisfying in many ways, her work was draining as she learned a new role in a new environment and on the other hand was also gearing up to accelerate her primary business. Then crisis struck, just when she was looking forward to her time off over the summer break, her strategic planning & executive abilities were needed in another area of her business. She had been brought in to 'turn the ship around' and her typical day now includes putting out fires, sometimes literally!

She spent her holiday time juggling between two business’s and commuting from one office to another in summer (specially in Mumbai) while trying to create a happy sense of balance & normality for her family members & business community.

Work-Life Challenges

The daily reality for many leaders and clients can involve juggling an ever-increasing amount of complex, high priorities at work while managing the demands of family life. The stressors add up while the sense of fulfilment can easily diminish, along with the energy for the usual challenges and responsibilities of life. And the icing on the cake could be some outrageous challenges that knock us off balance.

If we are already running on empty, big life stressors like a family crisis, new roles or corporate merger can completely deplete our capacity for even the smallest of challenges, let alone leading a team and running a family & family owned business.

Now add onto that our own thoughts, habits and beliefs. Examples include wanting to be the perfect daughter, daughter in law, spouse, boss, colleague, have a beautiful home, be the renowned executive, deliver the perfect presentation, and measure up to the benchmark of those who seem to have it all, plus all those unique ways we have to beat ourselves up. Let's face it, in many ways we are not our own best allies. And when we're giving our time and energy to everyone else we tend to forgo our own needs for sleep, nourishment and regeneration. We become unkind to ourselves.

Returning to the woman I described above, we might ask what transpired when she was juggling between two or more area’s followed by a stressful crisis. Was she able to handle the challenges of her new leadership role with aplomb and continue to engage her team in their vision? Or did she find herself more irritable and reactive and less connected?

The answer is she was beautifully integrating all different spheres of her personal & professional life because her ‘Well of Resilience’  was full. As she was leading up to the crises, yet was able to sustain her energy so she could thrive under pressure and still operate at her best.

We worked on a Four-Step Approach that is part of my Mentoring Session which supported her in Building & Making Radical Resilience as the First Priority!

Step 1: Invite to DeClutter

Step 2: Envision to Discover 

Step 3: Explore To Design

Step 4: Goal Ecology Check

Giving ourselves the gift of self-kindness as we intentionally deepen our 'wells of resilience' results in an increased capacity to live more open-heartedly, connect more meaningfully and engage and inspire others with positive energy.

UNDER THE COACH’s LENS

I wholeheartedly believe that only focusing on our management of time and stressors is misguided. I believe we will be more fulfilled and better able to sustain optimal performance if we focus on how we manage our energy. All of us have the same amount of time available and stressors are not something we can avoid. However, why do some people seem to thrive regardless of the pressures and others burn out? 

Making radical resilience a first priority requires a shift in how we think of energy. How We Manage Our Energy Shapes Our Resilience. The people that thrive manage their energy in ways that keep their 'wells of resilience' full.

When our energy output exceeds our energy inputs we can become chronically exhausted. This leads to impatience and reactivity at work, and a lack of energy for the second shift of home and family life. Too exhausted to enjoy our downtime when we have it, we may choose non-regenerative activities (like binge-watching television, excessive social media, irregular eating habits) and are too worried about our responsibilities to gain a sense of renewed energy.

How Deep is your 'Well of Resilience’?

Our thoughts, behaviours and emotions all have an energy consequence which can be negative or positive, depleting or renewing. Think of resilience as a well. When the going gets tough during your day you tap into your 'well or resilience’. And if your 'well of resilience' is deep and full, you quickly return to a sense of calm and clarity as you arrive for your work day. But whether you can do this depends on how you've been maintaining your well - balancing your energy output against replenishing inputs.

As the day progresses, various demands require your energy, thus drawing down your 'well of resilience'. As the days go by and the stressors mount, if you do not have energy habits that refill your well, and if your well is not deep, you run the risk of running your well dry - resulting in burnout.

What does Radical Resilience include?

We think of resilience as our ability to cope and to rebound quickly. But I believe a more radical approach is to consider how resilience is dependent on the balance of our energy renewal versus daily energy drains in four main realms - physical, cognitive, emotional and spiritual. These are the 4 key areas as suggested by current health and neuroscience literature for the renewal of energy to support resilience. I primarily use tools based on Energy Management, NLP and Emotional Intelligence as part of my coaching practice.

And a parting question for my brilliant readers; how Deep is your 'Well of Resilience’? what energy renewal habits would love your attention this season? Share yours in the comments below.

Kalpana Khot- ICF Life / Executive Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Emotional Intelligence Coach - coaches women who want to live and lead wholeheartedly with a courage and power rooted deeply in values and purpose. She helps her clients embrace their signature strengths which further empowers them explore and develop what will have them really thrive as resilient leaders. Connect with Kalpana on email:info@kalpanakhot.com